I had it all planned out ever since I was a kid: I'm going to get good grades, go to a great uni, become a doctor. I've had this mentality ever since I was around grade 1. Sure, there have been times where my mind wandered but it always came back to being a doctor.
So I had it pretty good and sorted all up until recently. I've felt so...off lately. I don't have the same vitality or enthusiasm towards learning as I had had in the previous years. I don't care about grades as much I did, but that is not to say that I still don't force myself to try my hardest. I'm sure I can pull off another year until I graduate highschool but the thought of doing exams and tests and pulling all nighters for something I am only vaguely interested in for another few years? I honestly don't know.
However, that isn't the only problem I have. The enthusiasm and interest I had for becoming a doctor down the road has also vanished. What will I do instead? Well It was a humanitarian/aid relief of some sort but as I have told many of my friends and family, I have received only one reaction: laughter.
"How will you support yourself? Don't come crying to us for help when your mission to save the third world country collapses!"
"Why would you do that? You've worked so hard to get to where you are, and you've used up so much of your parents money to cover your EC's and education and you're just going to throw it all away for some impulsive, egoistical self-fulfilment?"
"You're really going to just throw that all away, huh. Well we all knew that under that GPA there was no common sense"
It has planted a seed of doubt in my head because how will I support myself? Yeah sure, 'do what you love and you never have to work a day in your life' and then what? I'm doing what I love in my parents basement? It doesn't sound bad to me right now but what if I regret following my temporary dreams at the expense of my future? In fact, when my parents brought this very subject up, I told them that I didn't care really and they told me I'm looking through rose-coloured glasses and I won't have them when I'm 30 and still in their basement/one bedroom apartment with some rando I found on craigslist and a job that sounded great in highschool but have grown to loathe.
So what should I do? Should I just throw in my application for something science related(something I'm not particularly interested in but would not kill me) and hope this is just a bout of teenage angst that will pass? Or should I try for an internship at some place related to humanitarian aid?
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