My daughter is going to a top tier private university for her undergrad. She worked her tail off to be there and has had her nose to the grindstone for years it seems. When she began she was incredibly nervous but excited and happy. When I went to see her for parent's weekend she was full of anxiety and sadness and cried more than I've ever seen her cry. She had a horrible roommate - that was the first problem. She didn't want to go back to her dorm and was overwhelmed by her classes. It was fairly traumatic trying to get her moved to another room -- the only option really being a single where now she deals with loneliness. She did make a 3.9 gpa in the fall there but I've not seen her this down before. I am watching her closely and we have a plan to apply to CU Boulder - in our backyard and a few other universities that we haven't visited. We are low socio-economic though so the cost of this may be overwhelming.
I have two comments/questions if there is anyone out there with advice I welcome it - this is my first (and only) child going off to college:
~ This has been a disappointing experience from the standpoint that it is torture to watch her so unhappy. She cried as she told me today that her high school friends are enjoying college and have friends in college that 'they miss while back home for the break.' She has a few girls she does stuff with but hasn't made a good connection with anyone and said she doesn't miss anyone at her university. She wants to be home and was so sad when stepping back on the plane today to go back. She didn't want to go. That driven, excited girl that felt she had worked hard and achieved something by getting into this school is now forlorn and not sure what the future has in store. She regrets accepting admission to this school. Was there anything we could have done to see this coming? The school she chose was the only one that I didn't visit with her. She visited with her aunt who at the time was living there and my daughter thought she'd have family close by. The aunt and uncle subsequently announced a pregnancy and moved away to California a few months before my daughter arrived at school so they are no longer close by. :(
~ She is at a school with a quarter system. At the end of the Winter quarter, I'd like to tell her to come home (which would mean she'd leave without finishing the final Spring Quarter of freshman year. Is this a bad idea? Will this look bad for transfer applications? She has about $1500 in scholarship money designated for the Spring Quarter that would be returned to the scholarship agencies. Will it look bad to them? She is reapplying for a scholarship for next year with one of the same agencies.
I want her to be happy and enjoying college. Am I wrong to think that this is not the way it has to be?
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