One of my older children moved back to the US a few weeks ago to attend a state flagship in the Northeast. He turned 18 a few weeks ago and started this January. Excited about college, he tried to contact the new roommates in the suite dorm. It was obvious they had lived there since August or longer.
For weeks individually via text and email he tried to touch base with no response. He moved in while they were away. I assumed they were busy with the holidays and finals and all was good and tried to be reassuring. I assumed they would be different after the break.
Fast forward he moves into the dorm apartment and it is a mess. He sent me video and I was surprised at how it looked; especially since my kiddo is very neat. I explained he could help them to tidy up and this was minor as roommates must compromise. He has his own room so all is good and he can keep his room clean. If he invites people over, he can move all the items to a pile if needed.
Oddly, It has been two weeks and he has tried multiple times a day to speak with each of the three. He only knows one of their names which I find odd. Every time he tries to stop them to have chit chat, they are too busy and racing to online game in their rooms.He literally relayed yesterday one said they are too busy to talk because they are heading to their video game and the other two wiz by and will not speak to him. He feels totally unwelcome!
My first thought was they must game with each other. My son is not a gamer and more into outdoor sports but willingly to meet new people. Son relayed that they do not communicate with each other either and are all antisocial. He knows they are gaming because he can hear them yelling at the games in their rooms at all hours of the night.
He has not be offered room in the kitchen, room in the pantry or refrigerator. Their items are piled up in the living room from one end to the other including the dinning table. He just feels like this was not what he signed up for when he committed to the apartment.
My son is extremely social and now is just very sad and deflated. I explained that they do not need to be friends, just civil. I suggested he post a time for them to have a roommate meeting but he is not hopeful. I am not sure how further to provide reassurance in this situation as he is ready to throw in the towel. I suggested he speak to housing about other openings but feel it could be much worse. I relayed that there is a whole community of social people outside the front door and he just needs to make a life for himself outside the apartment.
He really was anticipating coming home and hanging out with his roommates and it looks like that will not be happending.
My question is, is this just typical today at college?
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