Hi All,
It’s been several months since I’ve been on CC, and I thought I’d finally come back and provide an update since you all have been so kind to me over the years. For those of you who don’t know about my situation or who don’t remember it, I’ve struggled with a lot of issues since starting college. I tried to live away from home but ended up moving back twice, tried to study abroad but backed out, and then have faced a lot of problems with my widowed, alcoholic mother.
I was supposed to have studied abroad in France last semester but ultimately ended up withdrawing (yet again) due to another pang of serious anxiety and familial issues. Now that it’s all said and done, though, this is actually a good thing because I realized after this happened that I needed some serious help and finally sought out counseling.
Over the past several months, I’ve been working on handling my anxiety and on dealing with the issues that I have with my mother. After doing so, I’ve never felt better about myself! I have completely reexamined my life and thought about what it is I really want, how I can get there, and what’s holding me back. My mother finally realized how bad my anxiety/our situation had gotten, too, and has been very supportive and cooperative throughout this entire process. I started the counseling over the summer and am currently only seeing someone when necessary, and even though I still get anxious about a lot of things and still don’t always get along with my mother, I’ve learned how to better handle my feelings and reactions to such things.
I’m going to be graduating with my BA in April and also applied to several MA programs in Comp/Rhet last semester. As it stands, I’ve received 4 offers of admission (3 of them fully-funded with teaching assistantships) and am still waiting to hear back from a few more schools. They’re also all out-of-state programs, so I’ll now finally have the opportunity to be on my own and live my own life in the ways that I’ve always wanted.
It’s been a long journey and I’ve had to sacrifice a lot of things, but throughout my four years of college, I’ve learned some invaluable life lessons. I had initially been worried about attending a regional public school without much national recognition, but at this regional school, I was able to be mentored and supported by wonderful professors in my department and then get accepted into some pretty good grad programs, form friendships with my classmates (and professors) that have made my college years enjoyable, get involved in both of my majors’ departments, take on leadership roles in a few different clubs, find an awesome job at my university’s writing center, and just generally have an amazing college experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.
It’s true that I don’t have much experience living on-campus and that I never studied abroad for a full semester, but I filled those voids with other great (and sometimes not so great) experiences that have helped me become the person that I am today.
I guess the purpose of this post is to come back to CC from my HIATUS and to also let people know that sometimes, the best of things can follow the worst. I was in pretty rough mental shape after finishing my junior year of college, but after getting some counseling, digging deep, and talking to the right people in my life, my senior year has been phenomenally successful and enriching, and I can’t wait to start my new life as a grad student! I’m sure grad school life will provide even more challenges and hurdles, but just as I have overcome the obstacles I faced as an undergraduate student, I’m sure I’ll be able to handle any new ones as well.
So, thank you to all of you on CC who have given me advice and support when I needed it the most. Everything worked out for me in the end, and I’m so happy to continue on with my education and with life in new and exciting ways!
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