Hi all,
I'm a 19-year-old going into my second year of college. A cousin on my mom's side ("E") is in a bit of a tough situation and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on things I could do to possibly help out. She lives in New York, a few hours from Albany, and is going into her senior year of high school.
Her family situation, to put it bluntly, is a mess. There are three children in that family: a boy who is a year older than me, E, and a younger boy who is still in middle school. Their mother (my aunt) converted to Mormonism when this cousin was young and she has grown up in the church. My uncle never converted, which is a major factor in the strain on my aunt and uncle's marriage. E does not believe in Mormonism and has recently came out as lesbian. My uncle has been the most supportive of her by far.
My oldest cousin is floundering. He has no direction and is being pressured into going on his Mormon mission by my aunt, but has been told that he's not ready for it by church leaders. In the meantime, he's completed a few nearly-useless (credits that don't transfer, multiple phys ed classes) semesters at community college and at Utah State. He will continue to take classes at Utah State and work a part-time job this fall, likely at the prodding of my aunt. My family suspects that my aunt is trying to elevate her Mormon status and create a foothold in Utah by having my cousin live in Utah and go on his mission, if that ends up ever happening.
In the meantime, E has expressed interest in going to SUNY New Paltz and studying art. While she is by no means an extraordinary student, she has better grades and much more direction than her aimless older brother. My aunt, however, has told her that she has to go to community college instead. I am unsure of the reasoning behind this. The rest of my family (my parents, grandparents, etc.) agree that it is in E's best interest that she get out of the house and think that it's entirely reasonable that she goes to New Paltz. The family is very likely to qualify for financial aid (both parents work for the state and thus have modest incomes) especially since her older brother will be enrolled in college. It would be possible, although not preferable, for E to live with my grandparents and commute about 45 minutes to an hour each way to New Paltz. This is a doable possibility, we think that E just needs guidance on how to make it happen, since my uncle may or may not step up to the plate.
We are unsure of whether E has taken her SATs, run net price calculators, etc, but we think it's unlikely
My mother thinks it would be inadvisable for her to butt in and effectively question her sister's parenting by giving E that guidance. I suggested that maybe I could, since I'm a peer and I have been through the process recently (and also read a lot of CC discussions). E and I have never been particularly close, though. I really feel for her and want her to be able to pursue what she wants, as well as get away from the stifling environment of her home, and I think it would be a complete shame if she was unable to go to college while her older brother does. Any thoughts?
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