After 16 years of marriage we are having our first real cultural problem. It all has to do with higher education.
We have a 14 year old sophomore daughter. She is VERY bright, always number one in her class, very talented in multiple areas. My husband comes at the question of college from a VERY Indian perspective. She has to know NOW what she wants to do and it has to be a choice that is VERY lucrative. He has agreed to forgo Doctor/Engineer but is still stuck on Computer Science or a STEM program. My daughter is great in math and science...but also happens to love writing and theatre. It makes him crazy to even discuss a path that is less traditional. He believes that a kid at 14 is perfectly capable of knowing what they want to do with their life (because he did - as did most of his classmates) and that it is showing a lack of commitment or passion to not have decided by this time.
I come at this from a completely different perspective. She is only 14 for crying out loud. I would of course love for her to follow her dreams - even if I didn't see how that would lead to a high paying job in the end. I understand that a school that would require some debt/loans might not be worth it if she is looking at a less lucrative field. She and I have been looking at schools that offer merit aid with the idea of reducing costs. Of course my husband is all about the "top" schools - the ones that will cost an arm and a leg to send her to.
We have hired a private counsellor here (the one at school has her hands full) and luckily they seem to fall on my side of the spectrum in terms of helping her decide what she wants to do. They would even like her to go to college "undecided" which, honestly, might make my husband have a stroke.
I really need to figure out a balanced approach to this because it is causing pretty high levels of friction - and we still have years to go in the process!
Any suggestions would be appreciated!
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