I am feeling a lot of guilt here. We have a bigger sized family. Basically, in our mid 40's, we had a surprise baby. Surprise!! And even after the birth, I laid in my bed in postpartum, looking at his sweet little face thinking "how are we going to pay for college????" I already had 2 children in college at this point. My 11 yr old visited me at the hospital and pointed out that I will be 63 when the baby graduates high school. To top it off, my husband has a heart problem, so we did not want to wait until 70 to retire because we don't know how long he will be able to work, or live.
So here is how the financial aid has gone. One of the older kids has full tuition and fees scholarship, plus stipend (but does not pay room and board). The FAFSA at the end says our EFC number is $6100 per child. Another child has financial aid and scholarships, including outside scholarships, and work study, getting what we have to pay down to the $6100 about. It varies. We told him he did not have to take out the unsubsidized loans. And here is where it gets tricky. That oldest has a work study. I pay his bill at the beginning of the semester. Then his work study money just goes to his bank account. Our agreement was supposed to be that I took the money from his bank account. But I feel like a thief!!!! I cannot do it. He is supposed to save it to put toward the next semester. However, he keeps eating out and on occasion, buying Steam games, so as a result, he has no money left and we keep paying. He can sign something at the college letting them take his paycheck to put toward his bill. I think we need to do that in the future.
Do you think we are obligated to pay the full EFC even if he has enough money to make this number lower? And for the record, my oldest was in the NICU and seriously medically needy so we postponed starting to pay our own student loans. For both of us, our parents did not pay at all. As a result, with the interest rates being as high as they were, and we had unsubsidized loans too, our loans kept going up while we were paying. We are now with Direct Loan and interest rates are much lower now. But we currently owe just over $75K. On the bright side though, we have saved enough money we could pay that off now, except that we are keeping that money to the side to pay for the rest of the children's educations. We have not been irresponsible with money.
So the bottom line is..if your child can afford to pay for school, do you let them keep that money and pay anyway? Or do you make them pay? Assuming you have a tight budget and younger kids to put through college. If we had tons of money and no more kids to pay for, this would be a no brainer. We would just pay. But that is not the case.
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What is fair for us to pay for college?
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I'm surprised by some names on this list
http://colleges.startclass.com/stories/7056/colleges-alumni-salaries-high-school-grads#1-Albion-College
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Should you pay for your child's college education?
"… 'Middle income parents need to ensure their own financial stability first,' Braxton said. 'It's like putting on your airplane oxygen mask before you put on your children's.'
Here are three key questions to ask yourself before you decide to open your wallet wide — or slam it shut." …
Obvious or insightful?
http://www.cnbc.com/2016/03/10/should-you-pay-for-your-kids-college-education.html
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The Growing College-Degree Wealth Gap
"The nation’s colleges continue to graduate far fewer students who grew up in poor households. With the country’s economic potential possibly hanging in the balance, a new report urges the United States to dedicate more resources and know-how to closing the college-completion gap between wealthier students and those from low-income backgrounds." …
http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2016/04/the-growing-wealth-gap-in-who-earns-college-degrees/479688/
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Which College Majors Lead Graduates to Their Parents’ Basements
From an article in Time magazine, Agriculture and Engineering did well, while the Humanities and Liberal Arts did poorly.
http://time.com/4106297/college-degrees-parents-house/
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Hill Phobia?
In reading through threads here on CC I noticed that there are a lot of students and/or parents who cross a school off their list if it is a hilly campus. In the Northeast alone this would eliminate Boston College, Holy Cross, Tufts, Lehigh, McGill (mountain), Syracuse among others. Assuming that the student does not have a mobility disability, why this hating on hills? Students will go to the campus fitness center and do the treadmill but don't want to climb hills?
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Is FIT a bunch of baloney?
I think FIT is very important if you are talking about a school having the majors that a student wants, or is affordable, etc.
However, I think that "fit" when used to describe how happy someone thinks they will be at a school after spending just one day is a bit crazy. Things that affect your happiness in a major way at a school, are: professor/student interaction, roommate compatibility, course availability, difficulty of the grading curves, research/internship opportunities, types of clubs, and many others. Very few kids are talking about these factors when they say a school will (or won't) be a good "fit". I know my kid didn't.
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UGA Honors vs. South Carolina Honors
Cost about the same, have visited both, UGA in general higher ranked but Carolina Honors #1 rank, but general population of students probably couldn't get in UGA??? But hate UGA extreme party reputation
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For the child who made little effort in highschool?
My son has made little effort in school. Now he is not even in the top 50% even though he has taken mostly preAP and AP courses. He does not really bother with the higher level courses anymore and for his senior year, he pretty much has all regular level courses.
I bought him an SAT study guide and offered to pay for a class or whatever else he wanted a year ago. Then he blew the PSAT. He scored over 200 in sophomore year, but then junior year, when it mattered, he just did something wrong. Now his SAT scores are ok, everything in the 600's. I had told him that with his grades, he needed to hit a home run on his SAT to get in to a college he likes. He told me he had studied and he knew he brought in top scores. he was shocked by the scores he did get. Again...whenever I would ask him if he needed anything or if he would like me to help him study or if he would like to take an SAT class, he would answer with "I'm good." That is it. Those exact words. SO, on this SAT, he swore he studied as much as he possibly could. Then, I found out he never opened the book before really. He had been lying about that too. He is going to re-take the SAT in October, and this time, he has to pay for it himself.
He honestly thinks he is so smart that he can skate by doing nothing. He says he thought the test would be easy and he would score well with ease. He was in the gifted program in the public school and always scored well on standardized testing. I was unable to grill in to him enough that this is college, not just some state standardized testing. His unweighted GPA is just over 2.5 because he doesn't feel like turning in his homework. He says it is only worth 10% and he knew he could pass the classes without.
I am so frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!
Now here comes the question. IF he gets in to a college, should we pay for it? Or should we tell him he needs to stay home and go to community college for a year and show us he can pass his classes with B's before we will pay? Part of me thinks that if he can get in to a college, then we should just pay. But then another part of me thinks we are not made of money and I do not want to throw money at a child who refused to do well in high school. He can just basically sign up for a variety of state schools. With the 600's, he doesn't have to rank in the top anything to get in to most of the state universities. He will get in to someplace. And then that third part of me feels like if he gets in to his school of choice, which is basically a B liberal arts school, then we should just suck it up and pay. I already know that none of these schools will meet his need. I already have been on the websites and the college board and know what our EFC is and none of these schools are interested in meeting it. Maybe we should say if he gets in to a competitive school we will pay, but if he gets in to a "signup" school, then he needs to do community college first?
I know a lot of people on here probably have plenty of money to spend on a child who will never graduate. And I am not saying he won't graduate. I am just saying that he is very immature right now and is not "getting it" at all on what he needs to do to succeed in college. He is not in to drugs or anything. But he has an extreme case of the lazies. Plus, he does not seem to match up that his behavior may have him passing his classes, but he is barely passing and that won't fly in college. And there is no point to college if he is going to refuse to study or do his school work.
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Triplets results and choices
OK, so it came down to the following choices:
Daughter #1 (in birth order, she is minutes older than her siblings):
Deciding between Boston College (good financial aid package, but not enough) and Middlebury (great financial aid package, but she would be a "Feb", starting in the Spring semester). Accepted to: SUNY Geneseo, SUNY Binghamton, waiting from Rochester.
Son:
Choosing between Macalester and Occidental, both gave him very nice scholarships and grants. Accepted to Stony Brook, as a University Scholar (to the school of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences). I would love him to stay close (NY), but he really hated the campus. He was accepted to University of San Diego, UC Santa Cruz, SUNY Buffalo, and a few more.
Daughter #2: Accepted to Siena College (safety), with a good scholarship, accepted directly to the school of business at SUNY Albany, accepted for the Spring semester at SUNY Geneseo, Syracuse and U of Georgia in Athens. She fell in love with Athens, it is a beautiful campus and everyone was so friendly, but we'd pay out of state (ouch!) and it is far from us :( Rejected from U Carolina Chapel Hill, waitlisted at Babson.
These are our only children, so I had to do everything for the first time in triplicate (FAFSA, CSS, College Board), husband did nothing except offer his opinion and moral support! Although we have been giving them as much input as we can, it pains me to say that the choice will ultimately be theirs to make. It looks that at least two of them will graduate with no debt. Good luck to everyone out there!
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ODU's current early action housing registration
Looking for information as to which dorms are still available in the early action housing sign-ups that started today. Does anyone have a count as to what was left when they signed up today?
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Failed classes, no goals, and no future
To start off I love my parents. They have always been there to push me when I lost sight of my goals. They have payed for my classes, they feed me, and they really don't ask for much in return. Now that that is out there, here is my problem. When I started college, everything happened at once. I learned how to drive and I got a job. This probably wouldn't have happened without the serious pushing by my parents. In my first year of college I failed four classes. Instead of telling my parents, like a normal person, I lied. At the time I justified it to myself and said that it was for their own good. My brother was in a really bad place right then and they really needed one good kid. Now I am in my second year of college and they want to see my transcripts. I have been doing better in my classes, but they still don't know about my bad grades in freshmen year. I really just don't know what to do. And to top it all off I have not a single clue about the direction I want to take my life. I need help but I don't want to disappoint them. What should I do?
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Moved: National Buckeye Scholarship
This discussion has been moved.
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Helping a child with mono at college
Our son is a freshman and he just called to let us know that he has mono. He has been instructed to quit the
crew team for the spring, not to stay out late anymore, and to basically rest and go to class. We live about a ten
hours' drive away and I feel sort of helpless. Has anyone been through this with a child? What are some other
ways to help a child other than driving up to see them? Should I go and see him? Any advice welcome!
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Moved: Heard of ed2go?
This discussion has been moved.
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Tuition Exchange
My husband works at a college and we are counting on the tuition exchange program to help pay for our son's school. He has applied to Syracuse and already received a letter from Syracuse that he has been awarded the scholarship there. He is still waiting to hear if he will be accepted there. It is one of his top choices. Apparently Syracuse is the only schools in the program that sends out letters to prospective students notifying them that they are receiving the award before an admission decision has been made. Does anyone have any idea if it is easier for a child who is participating in this program to be accepted to the school? My son is an average student and I can't help but wonder if he is more likely to be accepted so the college can balance their import/export ratio. Thoughts?
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Need help: UVA with loans or Full Tuition Scholarship at EQUALLY RATED program across the country??
Short story:
Is UVA worth an extra 40k over an EQUALLY RATED program of study at a well-rated University located 2000k miles away? Grad school is a necessity for DD's major.
Long story:
I'm reaching out for guidance concerning our DD. She made a very pragmatic choice and proceeded with Dual Enrollment her Senior year at a very competitive HS (that she wasn't a fan of the cut throat intensity). She stayed local 1 extra year and will be graduating with an AS degree Summa Cum Laude. Minimizing debt is an important goal for us. DD is a sweet kid and very much a homebody with multiple younger siblings she is close to.
DD has been accepted to every college she has applied and we are waiting to hear on UVA. She calls UVA her “first choice” but I don’t think transferring in will be any picnic for a shy and reserved kid... We have been in frequent contact with the Director of her intended major and we are confident she'll be accepted.
The only compelling competition comes from a well rated University across the country that has been unbelievably attentive and given us everything we have asked for, including a full tuition scholarship and Admission to their Honors College. It's a beautiful campus despite being remote. They've been flexible and done everything in their power to make her feel happy, safe and welcome. In addition, this school has an online program in her major (and worst case scenario if she wants to come home, she is able to keep this scholarship) and finish the program from home. (Not what we want… She needs a great college experience but it's a generous offer)...
The real irony is this University’s program of study was recently ranked EXACTLY the same as UVA’s (think alternative health profession). Talk to me about any reasons why UVA should win out (other than its close proximity)….. Could she have a better chance of Grad School merit coming from UVA?
Every single person we have talked to has said to “save your money and take the Full scholarship”…I really think my DD would prefer to be academically a big fish in a small pond vs being one of many brilliant other kids….but the location of the 2nd school is worrisome to her. She will need loans if she picks UVA.
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help with classifying safeties, matches and reaches for my D
we still have three more colleges to visit but we're getting close with my D's list of schools. From what I can see, the challenge is around finding matches that are not really reaches and safeties that are not really matches. Would love feedback if we've classified the schools correctly. She won't apply to all these schools, right now just looking for feedback.
thanks for the help!
basic stats:
caucasian female
4.0 unw, 8aps, two languages
act - 33, 34 superscore
ecs - ok
no hooks
safety mcgill
university of vermont
tulane
case western
rochester
match u mich
colby
emory
reach middlebury
wash U
far reach duke
dartmouth
williams
amherst
vanderbilt
Rice
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Rowan select or PG year
I have posted on Rowan forum to find out more about Rowan select and have not gotten an answer, will be contacting Rowan soon... Here is the link for Rowan select https://www.rowan.edu/home/undergraduate-admissions/applications/alternative-paths-admission/rowan-select/rowan-select-faqs
My question is whether I should send my kid to Rowan select or send her for another year of high school....
Kid is classified, has an IEP, has 117 IQ...but difficulty in reading critically,i.e. she can summarize, but has difficulty in understanding the underlying message, writing is not good...her GPA is around 3.1 unweighted and with 20 ACT...( I think the problem was not because she can't learn, but that wasn't taught appropriately)
She was accepted to Rowan select, the program seems to be helpful.(we are in-state)..but my concern is her to drop out, hence I am thinking to send her for a PG year and focus on reading and writing. (Assuming financial is not the issue between the two options)...I am wondering whether I am doing it right by keeping her for another year and when most of her friends are in college (she is open to either options).... Any suggestions or other options? Does anyone know more about the Rowan Select program? what is the success rate?
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Schools with "harsh" fraternity and/or sorority systems or those with disagreeable practices
See replies #284, #285, and #286 of http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/19610146/#Comment_19610146 for context of this question.
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